Five years ago today I lost my mother to cancer.  We found out that February that she was sick.  It grabbed ahold of her body with great force and never let go.  Her biggest fear had come true.  I’m so sorry Mom that you had to endure that.  She was a tough cookie and I can honestly say I never saw or heard her in pain.  She said to me “I didn’t know cancer would hurt so bad”.  She worked hard to be physically fit, always eating only half of all meals.   One day at the hospital during lunch, she looked at me and said “I spent my whole life only eating half and now I would give anything to be able to finish a meal”.  Another time when we had to go to an appointment, I asked if she wanted me to drop her off at the door and I would park the car...she said “no, I will walk as long as I am able”.  I always park in the spots far away from the door and I will do that as long as I am able.  I don’t take having the ability to walk for granted!!!

As a nurse, she spent thirty two years taking care of others.  She even received the “Nurse of Distinction” award from the hospital she worked in.  She spent all thirty two years working in the psychiatric unit, not an easy place for sure.  She was determined to make a difference and I thank God the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.  She worked the 3-11pm shift and then had to drive a long way to get home.  She lived in Upstate New York.  Again, not an easy task in the dark and snow.  She did that all the way until the day she retired.

When she realized she was not doing good and was losing her strength she did the most amazing thing a mother could possibly do.  She prepared us!!!  Our whole life we were told that no matter what you stick together.  You take care of each other because at the end of the day...eachother was all that we had.  She told us her wishes and she was stern about what and how she wanted things.  She told us to make her proud.  We made secret promises that we still hold to this day.  She wrote us a letter that included all things that were important to her.  She took us to the cemetery to pick out her plot.  The same cemetery that she promised her best friend they would be buried in and they are.

The pain that April 15th still brings is unimaginable.  I dread this day every year.  I tell myself she is happy and our faith is strong.  As I continue to miss you, I promise to do the best I can to help others like you did...to make a difference just like you!!!